![]() ![]() You’ve begun to consider your cat’s reaction to a prospective suitor as the make-or-break deal in dating.ġ0. You’ve become so good at creating single-serving meals (or your secret eating habits are so abysmally weird) that cooking for another person is your personal Everest.Ĩ. You have recently thought that Netflix knows you better than anyone else - and sharing your account with anyone else would seriously mess up your algorithm.ħ. The thought of splitting meals, dessert, or a wine bottle with anyone at all - even your best friend - is enough to make you want to use your fork as a weapon.ĥ. You think to yourself, “But, God, I don’t even like spending that much time with myself.”Ĥ. The last time somebody hit on you, you secretly wondered if someone had put them up to a bet.ģ. Even if you sleep in a king-sized bed, where is anyone else supposed to fit?Ģ. Your favorite sleeping position is sprawled out, in the center of the bed, legs and arms in every possible different direction, with multiple pillows supporting key points of your body. You are just forever and ever and ever alone.ġ. Because you, my friend, my curmudgeonly grumpy sourpuss of a friend. ![]() Coworkers constantly nominate you for extra projects because they know you have no one to go home to. Friends try to set you up with any number of dates. For every person who is comfortable being single, there is someone else who has gone straight past ‘comfortable’ and is now veering into a deeply bleak territory. ![]()
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